Tuesday, January 30, 2007

NEWS 2 USE: Take That Edition

Take That, Scientists

Finally catching up with folklorists and esoteric practitioners through history, scientists reveal statistical data showing the changing phases of the moon affect humans. According to the research, menstrual and fertility cycles, flare-ups of gout, asthma and bladder problems, plus incidents of murder, suicide and traffic accidents, all seem to respond to changing moon phases.

The scientists grudgingly admit that, although the mechanism of the effects are not understood, "It is suggested that melatonin and endogenous steroids [which are naturally occurring in humans] may mediate the described cyclic alterations of physiological processes. Electromagnetic radiation and/or the gravitational pull of the Moon may trigger the release of hormones.''

When designing an alien or fantasy universe, consider that western human scientific method has worn unduly heavy blinders when dealing with items of folklore, faith and the supernatural. Imagine how different our world would be if scientists weren't just now confirming these things long known to non-scientific or anti-scientific communities.


Take That, Accountants

In great news for creative people everywhere, research published in the journal Science suggests that our brains default to woolgathering, and that goal-directed thinking and concentration are departures from the norm.

According to one researcher: "In a sense these thoughts reflect an amazing capacity on our part to multi-task. It is as if we have a sense of how much [attention] we have 'left over' and allocate these resources to working out some problem or anticipating what we have to do in the near future."

Ha, WE'RE THE NORMAL ONES!


Take That, Guidance Counselors

Psychological studies now show that long-range career planning is a big waste of time. People cannot predict what will make them happy at lunch a week from now, so it's ridiculous to expect them to know what will make them happy at work five years from now.

This takes away such an unnecessary burden. I've had it drilled into me, that I gotta have a plan, I gotta have goals. This is great. It's scientific evidence it's okay to be considered a slacker!

4 comments:

Ursula said...

Science is always one step behind the metaphysicians. The discipline took a nose dive when it decided to separate chemistry from alchemy on the grounds that the spiritual had no business mixing with the scientific. Snort. As to the moon, how could it not affect us? We're huge amounts of fluid, us homosapiens, and the moon rules the tides. Stands to reason it would impact us as well. Heh!

Emily Veinglory said...

To be fair "scientist's" don't say or doing anything. Like most people if you get three in a room they will be arguing and insulting each other within five minutes. If forced to say 'scientist or not' I would say I was a scientist but I did agree wth every 'scientist says' given here ;)

Emily Veinglory said...

Oops. I mean to say *didn't agree*. Bad writer.

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